


It's all just hit or miss, so take your aim

by S_Horne



Series: A May Medley [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Sexual Situations, Car Sex, Established Relationship, M/M, Sex in a Car, They try to fuck in a car, and it doesn't go very well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 06:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/S_Horne/pseuds/S_Horne
Summary: “Lift your leg,” Tony panted. “Yes – no, not that way. Down, you idiot.”“You told me to lift it,” Steve said with an angry huff. “I lifted it.”“Well, I meant move it over–”“You didn’t say move it. You said lift it.”“For Christ’s sake, fine. Sorry. Now will you move it down? The gear stick is right up my–”Steve swore loudly and wrapped his arm more securely around Tony’s waist, pulling him over with far too much force. Tony fell against the car door, a long breath leaving him in a huff.“Fucking hell, Steve. Ouch.”ORNational Odometer Day





	It's all just hit or miss, so take your aim

**Author's Note:**

> You may have guessed from the title that this is sort of along the same lines as yesterday's fic. Thank you to an anon on tumblr who prompted this, because I had no clue what to write for today's day. 
> 
> Day Twelve: _National Odometer Day_

“Lift your leg,” Tony panted. “Yes – no, not that way. Down, you idiot.”

“You told me to lift it,” Steve said with an angry huff. “I lifted it.”

“Well, I meant move it over–”

“You didn’t say move it. You said lift it.”

“For Christ’s sake, _fine_. Sorry. Now will you move it down? The gear stick is right up my–”

Steve swore loudly and wrapped his arm more securely around Tony’s waist, pulling him over with far too much force. Tony fell against the car door, a long breath leaving him in a huff.

“Fucking hell, Steve. _Ouch_.”

“God, Tony! Are you okay? Shit, sit up – come here.” One of Steve’s hands flew from Tony’s waist to cup the back of his head, fingers searching for a lump. “Did you hit your head?”

“Ouch.” Closing his eyes, Tony leant into the gentle touch. “Yes, I did. Well, this sucks.”

“Yeah. I think it’s safe to say that this is a failure.”

A pout formed on Tony’s lips and he let his shoulders slump, falling forward against Steve’s chest. “Car sex looks so much easier in the movies.”

“So much easier,” Steve said on a groan, the fingers of one hand sliding down to curl around Tony’s neck and his other arm tightening around Tony’s waist. “I swear we used to be able to do this.”

Tony dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder. “Back when my legs could actually spread.”

“Mm,” Steve lifted Tony up a little more so that he could pull his leg right over the controls between their seats and tuck it up below himself. “I like it when your legs spread.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Remember when you used to be able to get your ankle behind my neck?”

Tony pressed a kiss to the hollow of Steve’s throat. “I do indeed,” he said, deep and husky, exactly how he knew Steve liked. “We used to have some very fun nights, even in this car.”

“I think we can figure this out, can’t we?” Steve asked, fingers flexing around Tony’s thigh. “Give it another go. It can’t be that hard, surely? We used to manage it, baby.”

Steve fell quiet when Tony’s lips met his. They kissed for a long moment and Tony started to roll his hips into Steve’s, rocking back and forth as they started to get back in the mood.

“Yes, Steve,” Tony said when they broke apart, his hands twisting behind Steve’s neck. “That’s it, babe. Just like that.”

“See?” Steve pressed another kiss to Tony’s lips, open-mouthed and dirty. “I told you we could do this, sweetheart.”

Tony threw his head back when he felt Steve’s fingers dancing along his bare back, dipping ever so slightly into his waistband.

“Of course we can. We’re world-renowned at this.” Tony slid his hand down below Steve’s shirt collar, tracing down his spine. “Years of practice.”

Steve kissed the underside of Tony’s jaw, nipping ever so lightly in a move that never failed to make Tony squirm.

“Can’t wait to see you ride me, baby. You do it so well, make me feel so good.”

“Help me get my pants down,” Tony said, voice little more than a whisper as he wriggled in Steve’s lap.

“Yes,” Steve said eagerly, hands at Tony’s belt before he’d even finished speaking. “Yes. _Fuck_ yes, baby. Lift yourself up just a little. Yeah, like that.”

Tony raised himself up, his forearms straining as Steve slid his jeans down to hook them under his ass. “Yeah, babe, we got this. Knew we could do it.”

“Course we can,” Steve purred into Tony’s neck. “We’re awesome. You’re awesome.”

“Fuck yes, I am.” Tony surged forward to catch Steve’s lips. “Gonna open me for you? Get me ready?”

Steve groaned loudly and Tony’s mouth split into a smile.

“Lift up just a little more, sweetheart, enough for me to–”

“Like this?”

“No, honey. More… you need to move over, no, to your left–”

“Ow, _fuck_. Where the hell am I meant to put my foot?”

“On the chair. No, next to my thigh. Here, Tony, bend your knee.”

Tony threw his head back in defeat and groaned. “No, no, no. Fuck it. I give up.” He fell down onto Steve’s lap, barely giving Steve time to pull his hand out of the way. “It’s too hard. This never used to be this fucking difficult. All I want to do is fuck my husband and this is what I get for it? Thigh cramp and a lump on my head?”

Steve sighed as he wrapped his arms around Tony, hands splayed on his back. “I don’t know how we used to do this, sweetheart. I don’t remember it being this hard. But hey, I know what we could do instead.”

“What?” Tony asked, voice muted and fed up.

“We could fuck in a good old-fashioned bed. We haven’t forgotten how to do that, have we?”

There was a pause before Tony shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. Got any ideas of where we could go?”

Steve slid a hand down Tony’s side until he could reach under Tony’s shirt and tickle bare skin again. “We could rent out a fancy room? Get a five-star hotel suite with the biggest bed we can possibly find.”

Tony nipped at a small patch of skin, though he kept his face hidden. “Keep talking.”

Steve huffed a laugh and pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s head. “We could even fuck in the shower if we find a room with one big enough. The logistics of that have to be easier than trying to work this out.”

“Okay.” Tony shot back up and met Steve’s eyes. “Get your phone out and start looking, baby. I need you to fuck me and I need it right now.”

“I’m on it.” Steve leant forward and caught Tony’s lips, pressing one, two, three short kisses there before he gave Tony’s ass a light slap. “Think you can figure out how to get back off me?”

Tony smirked and smacked an obnoxiously loud kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth. “Not a chance in hell.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know you all know, but [I have a tumblr](https://s-horne.tumblr.com/)


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